Life with a Preemie

This is part #2 of our story about Difficult Pregnancies and Preterm Labor....

Trey finally came home on a very sunny and beautiful July 7th morning. He spent ten very long weeks in the NICU and at 6lbs 4oz's he was released to nervous parents.  I have to explain that in the beginning when your baby is in the NICU you are terrified.  You perfect tiny little baby is hooked up to what seems like hundreds of wires and tubes.  The machines bing and ring and every single time you jump and your heart races but some where in between then and the discharge date you become oddly comfortable with it all.  All of the machines and wires become a part of your experience with your child and you kind of learn to love them.  You don't have to worry if they will stop breathing or if their blood pressure is too low or high because the machine will just tell you.  Each alarm becomes nothing more then a set back to when you can bring your baby home.  When you little baby stops breathing instead of freaking out you just pick them up and pat them on the back and then go back to doing whatever you were before.  So, when Trey was being discharged I had a level of anxiety that I did not think I would have.  I didn't know how was I going to know if he stopped breathing or if something was wrong? I actually asked to be sent home on an O2 monitor...crazy maybe but I had become so dependent on the system that had kept him alive for 10 week already.I had learned to not believe in my ability as a mom.  We went and purchased an  Angelcare Deluxe Movement And Sound Baby Monitor.  The system monitors movement in the crib and the sensitivity can be adjusted.  When movement is not detected for a few seconds the alarm goes off. I don't know that I would have slept without it.  We only had one alarm. Trey had actually had a terrible case of reflux and had stopped breathing. I was able to stimulate him and he was fine.

For the prior 10 weeks I had pumped breast milk every 3 hours religiously.  I never and I mean NEVER missed a pumping session.  I had not slept much for those months but once he came home I didn't sleep at all.  I would just hold him and feel him breath against my chest.  This went on for at least 3 weeks.  I didn't allow visitor for fear of them bringing some sickness to my tiny little preemie that he couldn't fend off.  We just hibernated.  The only time I would venture out of the house was for doctors appointments and there were lots of them.  Trey was 6lbs 4oz and techniquely he was 3 months old.  So, we had lots of catching up to do in the growth department.  We also had eye appointments and appointments for his brain...and I did a ton of praying in those months that followed his discharge.  We were lucky.  Trey did not have any issues expect for catch up growing to do. 

The only thing we had to do was get a special shot every month called Synagis.  The shot helps to protect against respiratory syncytial virus or RSV. This is an illness that is not a big deal to normal healthy people but to preemies or elderly people it can be deadly.

Now that Trey is 3 we are dealing with some issues that may or may not be a result of his Grade1 brain bleed and early arrival.  Trey has since been diagnosed with a tactile and auditory sensory delay.  Basically, he needs his audio and tactile input to be at a level 10 for his brain to realize a sound or touch has occurred.  On a scale of 1 to 10 Trey's dysfunction is at a 3.  It could be much worse.  This does cause him some problems with focusing and being very loud.  We have recently found out about this and will be starting occupational therapy very soon...To be honest, I am looking forward to it.  I knew that something was going on with him but I was not sure what it was.  I was actually happy to know that it was not ADD and that medication won't fix it.  This issue just requires a lot of work on his part and mine as his mom and we can do that!By the way he is still perfect to me :)

Like I said before Trey was lucky. Many little ones come home on monitors for oxygen, G tubes or J tubes, physical issues ect.  I do know this..every thing Trey does is a miracle to me.  No matter how loud or annoying he may be to some I thank God that he has the physical and mental ability to get on my nerves.  Some moms and dads are not that lucky.

How to Generate Income and Make Money For Your Family : Coupons

I am currently a stay at home mom (SAHM) but I am really a full time student and my area of study is nursing.  I will begin my clinical study in the fall of 2013.  I can't wait! But..until then I will be staying at home with our new little baby and it is a blessing.  I am able to exclusively breastfeed among other things.  One of the "other" things I am doing is trying to generate income for our family to allow me to finish school.  I have found that there are more ways to generate income then actually bringing cash in the door and I would love to share my secrets and journey with you all.

Let's talk coupons!

I LOVE coupons and trust me they are not just for groceries.  I use coupons for everything from clothes to make-up.  I have found that the key to getting coupons that you actually want to use is applying for frequent shopping cards at all the places you love to shop weather it be groceries, clothing or make-up.  Yes, when you sign up for the frequent shopping cards and programs they will ask for your email but don't worry about your inbox filling with junk.  All you need to do is unsubscribe from the email and they will stop but you will still receive your valuable money saving coupons in the mail.

Grocery Cards:
I have shoppers card for our local grocery store Kroger and along with saving money at the register on in store deals they also track my most frequent purchases and send me coupons in the mail about once a month for those items.  In addition to those in mail coupons I also downloaded the free coupon app they have to my phone.  I can load e-coupons to my card before I head to the store...TIP* be careful about this. You cannot combine e-coupons and paper coupons for a single item and most stores will double your paper coupon but not the e-coupon..So, if you have a paper one you will probably save more money!  

Frequent Shopping Cards for Retailers:
My favorite frequent shopping card by far is for Express! I love getting coupons in the mail for their store. I love their clothes and practically live in black legging from their store and my husband LOVES their pants and shorts.  Typically, about once every 6 weeks I get a coupon for x amount of dollars off a 30$, 75$, 200$ ect..purchase.  The last time we shopped their I had two of these coupons we spent 500$ but after the discounts it was only 210$ out of pocket!  I did have to split the purchases in to two but it was so worth it.  In addition to the great deal I received I was able to order some items that were not in the store in my size I received FREE shipping to my home!  I also received points for my purchases and once I accumulate a certain number of points I can get cash to spend at the store.

I also LOVE Sephora.  Their card works a bit differently.  I get a free gift on my birthday and I earn points for every dollar I spend and once I spend 'x' amount of money I get a gift.  I am currently saving enough points to get a collection of full size Bare Essentials lip glosses.  

I suggest signing up for these cards where ever you can.

General Coupons:
Personally, I don't like websites like coupons.com or others like that. I never find coupons for things I actually need in my home.  We don't eat a ton of processed foods, chips, or frozen products and usually that is all I run across. Also, I have been meaning to get a Sunday paper subscription for over a year now. I totally get that if I subscribe for a year that I will save .50 cents a paper on Sundays but I keep forgetting to do it.  I also know that not every Sunday paper has good coupons or some at all! Sunday papers that are distributed over holiday weekends like Easter and Christmas DO NOT have coupons so to me that paper would be useless.  The rule of thumb is that if the bank closes there will be no coupons.  Instead, I get a paper two times a month.  I save the coupons in a folder like this one (Jokari-US 55047 E-Z Coupon Holder - Taupe ) and I always take a few minutes to flip though them before I make my list.

Here is the BIG way I save money on groceries without extreme couponing.  I mean honestly what mom has the time to clip coupons for hours and troll the recycling centers for inserts. I have a screaming three year old and a newborn who eats every 2-3 hours. I keep a running list on my refrigerator and we do not deviate from the list.  This is great for two reasons. First, it makes the shopping quick and I usually can get in and out of the store before any major melt downs occur.  Second, It totally helps us stay on budget and I don't fill the house with crap that we don't need.  Right before we run out the door to do the shopping I thumb though my coupons and phone app and add the coupons I want to my card.

These are not ways that I am bringing money into my home in the traditional sense but every penny I save us on things we were going to buy anyways frees up money to be spent in other places.  These are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my penny pinching ways..Much more to come later!

Difficult Pregnancies and Preterm Labor : Sharing Saturday

I have many thing that I would like to share with my Momville family but first I have to start at the beginning or it will not make any sense.

I have a beautiful son who is now three years old.  He was a planned pregnancy and before he was conceived I had taken prenatal vitamins for three months.  The day I found out I was pregnant I was filled with a whole host of emotions.  I was happy but very nervous. Scared but elated. He was my first pregnancy and I did not know what to expect. My first trimester went by extremely smoothly.  I only had a week or so of nausea but no real morning sickness.  To be honest, I was one of those women other pregnant women hate. I loved being pregnant!  I felt amazingly well and I had never felt more womanly.  I was doing something my husband could never do. I was carrying a baby.  Everyday that my belly became more round I was more and more happy.  I attended every prenatal appointment and took the best care of myself.

On Our BabyMoon

At my 16 week appointment I mentioned to my midwife that I felt a constant tightening and relaxing feeling in my uterus. It would happen 10-20 times a day. I learned later they were painless contractions. She just brushed it off.  I have to add that I love midwives but I was not blessed with the kind of midwife who was a good listener and cared for her patient. So because the "tightening" I was feeling was not painful I just brushed it off and went about my life cherishing my newly pregnant body.  My husband and I went on a babymoon around my 23rd week of pregnancy.  We decided to take a cruise.  It was amazing! There is nothing more awesome then food ever where while you are pregnant.  I consistently had that tightening feeling while on the trip but just brushed it off.  I actually begged my husband to allow us to go on a hike into the jungle of some island we visited just so I could hold a monkey! I had contractions the entire time. Some would make me stop in my tracks from the tightening of my muscles but other then that I was fine.

After we returned from the trip things got crazy in a hurry.  I was 25weeks pregnant and I was on my way to school.  I felt a sharp pain and I broke out into a cold sweat.  I had never felt a pain like this before.  I pulled my car over and called 911.  I was rushed to the hospital.  Once I got there I was checked out by my doctor and he said I was having contractions every 1 to 2 minutes and that I was 1cm dilated.  My instinct was to ask if it was normal and of course he said no.  He asked if I had let the midwife know about the tightening feeling and I said yes.  He shook his head and walked out of the room. I was given a shot of terbutaline to stop my contractions and they actually stopped. I was given a prescription of a  medication called Procardia and sent home.  I was told to return if my contractions returned.  That was a Friday. Sunday the contractions returned so we went back to the hospital. The really confusing part for me was that my contractions we totally painless with the exception on the one I felt on my way to school.  My belly would get hard as a rock but it would not hurt.  I always thought that labor would consist of earth shattering pain..mine did not.

At the hospital they gave me another dose of the terbutaline shot but I had an adverse reaction and my blood pressure tanked.  I was admitted. They increased my dose of Procardia but six hours later the nurse informed me of what I already knew....My contractions were not stopping.  I was started on magnesium.  I have never felt so sick in my life. Hot sweats, dizziness and dry mouth but I knew it was all to save my baby. One hour after the magnesium was started my contractions actually sped up.  I was rushed to another hospital that had a level four NICU.  I just knew he was going to be born.

I got to the hospital and I was given something to help me sleep.  I woke up and my contractions had finally spaced to 8-10 minutes.  I spent the next 10 day admitted to the hospital constantly being rushed back and fourth to labor and deliver from the high risk floor.  I received steroid injections to help develop his lungs and was placed on hospital bed rest.

My Dear Son's First Picture only hours old

On the 10th day I woke up feel great.  I had been losing pieces of my mucous plug for days but other then that I felt great.  At 10am the nurse hooked me up for my daily non-stress test.  I had gone 3 days without a single contraction and if I made it through this test then I would be able to go home.  At 10:15am the nurse came running in and asked me if these contractions felt different.  Yes, they did!  Still not painful but different. The doctor checked me and I was fully dilated and my bag of water was bulging.  I was rushed into labor and delivery and he came very quickly.  My lovely son was born at 12:40pm at 2lbs 10ox 15 inches long.

We had a very lucky and standard NICU stay, if there is such a thing.  We had the typically apnea and brady spells where he would stop breathing and have to be stimulated to breath.  The scariest thing we had to deal with was a Grade 1 inter ventricular brain bleed.  We were told that the bleed was minimal and that he may have some issues related to it but there is no real way to know.  The main concern was ADD later as he developed or a speech delay because his bleed was very close to broca's area of the brain. He also had an issue with MERSA that was very scary and he now has a permanent scar on the right side of his head where the MERSA destroyed all the tissue.  At the time when he had it until it healed you could actually see his skull.  He was only on Cpap to aid with his breathing and 10 very long weeks later he came home without any supplemental oxygen.


I felt very blessed to have my baby home with me.  I saw several babies go to God and had to watch their mothers and fathers as they lost their babies.  I can not even explain what that is like so I won't try.

I have much more to share with you all about my special little boy but first I wanted to start at the beginning.  My next post will be about life with a preemie.

30 Minutes or Less : Making Time for You

As moms we tend to place ourselves on the back burner.  Many days have gone by where everyone in my house is fed, happy and clean except for me.  I haven't had a shower in days and smell like breast milk and God knows what else.  I feel accomplished when my house is clean, laundry is done and dinner is on the table but at the end of the day I realized that I have forgotten to do anything for myself.

Several weeks had gone by of this busy schedule where I was last and one day I hit a wall.  I ended up in my closet crying hysterically all because I looked down at my feet and realized that I needed a pedicure.  I had not had one for over two months and before I had children I always went once a month for a little treat.  That day I decided to try to commit 30 minutes each day to something just for me.  Ever since then I have been a much happier mom and wife and you know what they say " Happy mom's = Happy babies".

First, I decided to make a list of all the things I would like to do for myself on a regular basis that did not include taking care of anyone else.  Believe it or not this was not a simple task.  At first when I would write something down, I would feel a bit of anxiety and guilty.  It took sometime to really believe that it was okay to spend time for me and only me.  The list consisted of  anything that made me feel like Nola and not just mommy and wife.  My list looked a little like this..

~workout
~drink a hot cup of coffee and read a book
~get a haircut
~get a pedicure
~get a bikini wax
~take a shower and shave my legs!
~write

Second, I had to try and see where my time was going.  I knew I was very busy but I had to be able to steal 30 minutes from somewhere.  I realized that in the early morning when I was folding laundry, making breakfast and cleaning that I actually had sometime when the baby was sleeping pretty regularly and during the week my husband and son were not home.  This only applied during the week but hell I will take it.

Third, I had to accept the fact that I may not get everything done on my home "to do" list and that it was okay.  I decided that everyday the most important thing was dinner being on the table and there were no exception to this rule.  There might be days where dinner is done but the bathrooms were not cleaned or laundry has been started but not finished.  Again, I had to tell myself...this was okay and this was a very hard thing for me to do.

Today, I decided to write.  My 30 minutes are quickly slipping away and I hear a very sweet little lady slowly waking up so I will have to end this.  I encourage all of you very hard working mama's to try and take 30 minutes just for yourself.  You deserve it!  Remember how hard you are working and that everyone deserves a break.  We tend to go-go-go all the time and I would hate to see you all burn out..Your lights will brighten the paths for your family and children so tend to the flame and don't snuff it out.

My nursing mama's : Sharing Saturday

It takes a lot of courage to nurse in public (NIP) or show pictures of yourself nursing. These are some of my brave JuneBug mama's showing off their nursing skills and their babies.  Personally, I just love seeing pictures of mother's feeding their babies.  Breast are not vulgar and they are not only sex objects.  They comfort and feed our babies weather you pump or exclusively breastfeed is totally irrelevant.  Both are hard work!

I added my own picture of me NIP without a cover for the first time on Saturday.  I still believe in modestly nursing but it was almost 90 degrees outside and way to hot to cover Aubrey's face and body.  I used my Undercover Mama and  I didn't feel exposed at all!

J. Picciotto Thorpe tandem feeding her beautiful baby boy and girl...look at those skills!!!!!

C. Viau tandem feeding her beautiful twins while they hold hands, so cute!!!!!

A.Collins

"I couldn't live without my Boppy"

D.McGorty "even if it is silly, let the baby get comfortable for their feeding"

"The only thing that matters is that you are comfortable and your baby is happy"

This is conversation was had between Amanda Lints and her beautiful baby girl Madi during one sleep deprived night.  I just had to share this. I literally laughed for five whole minutes after reading this.  I know that any mom I know can relate to this.. 

The sleep-deprived conversation Madison and I just had....
Me: Okay, Madi girl, time to go to sleep.
Her: Umm...how bout no?!
Me: How bout yes! After 3 nights of you STTN, I thought we were past the nights of no sleep.
Her: *evil laugh* You're so naive. You have a lot to learn, grasshopper. Besides, I see the sun coming up. That means it's daytime and guess how I wanna spend my day?
Me: . . . .?
Her: Chillin on this here Boppy and getting milk intoxicado! Woot, woot!
Me: You're a lush. Besides, you always sleep for daddy!
Her: Yeah, that's cause he bores me. You have these giant fun bags filled with the sweet nectar of my people. How the heck am I supposed to sleep with those puppies around?
Me: *covers boobs back up*
Her: Waaaahhh!! Waaaahhh!! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. Give me them back.
Me: *pulls my boobs back out* You know, you need your sleep to grow into a big, strong, healthy girl.
Her: *blank stare* Nice try. Give me yo tit before I scream some more.
Me: Sigh.

Thanks for sharing ladies..I love you all!

Why Breast is Best...Tips and Tricks of the Trade

Formula or Breastfeeding...co-sleeping or in the crib from day one, traditional diaper or cloth...so many decisions that you have to make before your precious baby takes their first breath. We will start with breastfeeding...

A brief history of formula

 Our society was turned on to formula in the early 19th century but it was only available though a prescription from a physician and was very expensive.  In 1959 Similac and Enfamil began wide spread campaigns to convince mothers that formula feeding was best for baby and mom.  These companies pushed the notion that formula was more nutritious and safer in addition to being easier for mom because she can get help from others ( that I can't argue with) and by 1970 over 75% of babies in the US were on formula. Breastfeeding became taboo and many women honestly thought that formula was better then breastmilk.

So, Similac and Enfamil took their show on the global road and tried to push formula in various third world Countries.  This was not a good idea and many children died.  Unlike in the US clean water was not available to these women.  They prepared bottles of formula for their children with water that was teeming with bacteria and viruses.  Without the antibodies that are present in brestmilk these tiny babies were unable to fight of a whole host of nasty illnesses and died.  The companies have pulled out of these Countries without so much as an apology.

With that said, when formula was first created it did have many benefits for children here in the US and Europe where children were dying from malnutrition and medical problems like rickets when their mothers were unable to produce a sufficient milk supply and unable to afford a wet nurse.

Breast is best

"Breastfeeding is best" you hear it all the time when you are pregnant.  I will not sit here and tell you that breastfeeding is easy.  Like most things worth wile in life it take preparation, education and handwork...although it will get easier as time goes by.  Support is the most difficult part when you decide to breastfeed.  So many women have formula fed for the last few decades, it is no longer just as simple as calling your mom or family member with questions. I was fortunate to have an easy go at it this time around but not so many women are as lucky.  Let's explore the pros and cons of breastfeeding for both mom and baby.

pros:
* Yes, you will lose weight faster if you breastfeed. Breastfeeding burns around 500 additional calories a day
* It is easier in the sense that you don't have to sterlize bottles or prepare them
* Breastfeeding causes a release of the hormone oxytocin(the chemical of love) and helps to creates a bond between you and your baby.  
* Protects against ear infections, colds, and viruses: If the child does have any of the above, the severity will most likely be lessened because of the protection of antibodies passed from the mother to the breastmilk.
* Easier for baby to digest: It is almost impossible to have a constipated breastfed baby!
* Women who breastfeed can cut their breast cancer risk by 60%
* You will save money..Formula can cost anywhere from 10$-30$ a can and you could easily go though 10-12 cans a month.  That is a yearly cost of 1200$ - 3600$.  If your child needs special formula for an allergy or sentivity issue the cost could be more.

Cons:
* You will be tired, especially in the beginning. Newborn babies typically feed every 2 to 3 hours during the day and may awaken frequently at night because of the easy digestion of breast milk. Breastfeeding takes a lot of energy for your body to make milk, so the mother can often feel quite fatigued.
* When you need a break..and you will. Someone will need feed the baby with a bottle and the mother still has to pump to keep her supply up and prevent uncomfortable engorgement.
* There can be a certain amount of anxiety and frustration while a mother and baby are learning the process. Use your resources at your local hospital if they have a lactation consultant available, most do. Join your local La Leche League and use your greatest resource, other women.
* Sometimes mothers have physical problems like mastitis, plugged milk ducts, engorgement if the baby is not feeding frequently or properly, oversupply, under supply and fast letdown issues.  These can all be overcome but it take research and support.
* Working mothers can find it challenging to schedule nursings. It would be necessary to pump at work and some jobs may not allow for such breaks (they should, but some do not comply).
* Pumps can be expensive.  They can range from 50$ to 400$ or more. In my honest opinion most 50$ pumps are just as good as a 400$ pump. I personally like my manual hand pump more then my 300$ Medela but it is more about personal preference.


Tips:
* Try to relax and don't get upset if the expience of breastfeeding is not what you built it up in your head..Actually, if you can't let go of any and all expections that would be best, but easier said then done.
* I have said it before and I will say it again...USE your resources! You will need help, advice and support. It is okay to need help that does not mean your not a good mom...The first night I was home from the hospital with Aubrey she nursed every hour to hour and a half.  I knew something wasn't right and I was exhausted but instead of freaking out I had this conversation with her.." You can use me as a pacifier tonight but first thing in the morning we are calling the hospital lactation consultant and you will give me a break" At 8 am I was on the phone and by 12pm there was an amazing nurse at my house.  Twenty minutes with her straightened it all out and I passed out cold along with Aubrey at 3pm.

Thankful Thursday

As moms we are usually pretty tired and stressed out. Living on just hours of sleep and being lucky to get to pee during the day let alone eat or drink can just be mentally and physically exhausting. Those times where we are the most wore down are the times when we need to remember why we are thankful and thus..Thankful Thursdays were born. I invite you to post your reason for being thankful today. No matter how big or small your reason..Please share.

* Today, I am am thankful for my children and I am so thankful that they slept well last night.  I am really thankful that I got to spend the first few early hours of the morning drinking a hot ( yes, you heard that right HOT!) cup of coffee on the deck watching the sun come up.  That hot peaceful cup of coffee has made the rest of my day much easier...

It is National Breastfeeding Week!!!!

I am a day late and dollar short as usual but it is National Breastfeeding Week. I feel we need to pay homage to the boob! It does more then just supply endless enjoyment to the world of men. As a society we have over sexualized a part of the body that is suppose to be used for sustenance and comfort not just to look and snicker at like Beavis and Butthead.  I have been fortunate enough to be able to exclusively breastfeed my daughter who is now a little over two month.  My son and I were not so lucky but I was able to pump the liquid gold and supply it to him though a bottle.  I need to say that I in no way criticize a woman's choice to formula feed.  There are many reason a woman may choose to formula feed.  Maybe she can't supply breast milk, maybe her child wasn't thriving well, maybe she just didn't want to or her work schedule wouldn't allow her to pump.  What ever the reason, I know that every decision that a woman makes for her child has not gone without rigorous thought and in the end she is loving her child either way and providing food to help him or her grow and that is all that matters in the end.  

Let's talk about public breast feeding...I am a major advocate of breastfeeding if you can't tell and yes I feed in public.  By that I mean I will feed anywhere, in the theater or at the table in a restaurant ect.  Where ever and when ever.  I refuse to hide away in a nasty public restroom and sit on a toilet or go to my car. I pray that in the future there will be a nursing lounge in every public area.  Although, I think there have been major leaps forward in this department.  There are three nursing lounges in our local mall! Here are some public breastfeeding tips.

1) Practice at home. You probably won't have your  My Brest Friend Breastfeeding Pillow  or Boppy to help you out. Practice walking around or holding your baby in different positions and find out what works best for you.
2) Relax. With everyone and their Grandmother choosing a side on the "breastfeeding issue" these days you may get some stares or even soft whispers but who cares! You are feeding your baby the best stuff on earth and you know what they say about opinions....yeah. Besides, you may get a thumbs up or a pat on the back (both of these have happened to me and startled the hell out of me and made me feel really good at the same time)

With all that said, I do believe in modest breastfeeding but nursing clothes are expensive and ugly. Who has the money or desire to replace their whole wardrobe in the first place? So lets talk about products that will make your life easier on the journey of breastfeeding. The most traditional way to nurse in public is to use a nursing cover. My favorite cover is the Balboa nursing cover. They are stylish and very thin fabric that is not see though which is very important when feeding in warmer weather.  They also have pockest to hold anything you need. I placed a couple of quarters in the pockets to weigh it down when I feed walking around to keep the cover from flying around. This cover is very inexpensive at around 36$ also which is awesome if you have ever been taken in by cute baby related items that were never worth your hard earned money.  My second favorite public breast feeding item is the UnderCover Mama.  This is a strapless tank top that attaches to your nursing bra to keep you from exposing the lower half of your body. This is great for those who don't want to use a nursing cover or if it is just to damn hot to use one. It will turn any of your clothes in to nursing clothing.  This product sells for 24$ to 27$ and is beyond worth it

Balboa Nursing Cover

Undercover Mama

Breastfeeding basics/pros and cons will be later this week....